This is going to sound a bit weird, but the past few weeks I’ve been doing a quiet experiment in writing my life lessons with a much more freestyle approach.
That sounds slapdash but that’s not the intention. I care about and consider these posts a lot, but I want to care less about clever words and perfect grammatical structure (except for apostrophes – I’m one of ‘those’ people!).
I prefer to write more train-of-thought posts and work out the answer as I go, rather than constructing an essay I would have written at uni. Don’t get me wrong, everything needs a bit of structure – I’m not one for a meandering story which doesn’t really go anywhere… unless I’ve had a drink or am chatting to someone I’m trying to impress, in which case the waffle is magnificent!
It’s a balance!
I promise to still do all my homework when making assertions on anything which isn’t clearly just my opinion, but I want my blog to be written in my authentic voice.
The majority of these life lessons are an opportunity to report how I experience events and what I have learned from them. It is not a scientific study, it’s what the pro’s would called anecdotal evidence.
And I love sharing these anecdotes, because there are those among you who will respond with a “yes, I totally get that too” and those who respond “wtf are you on about”. Both of these work for me because you guys that ‘get it’ know you are not alone and those who don’t get an insight into how other people experience things – and there are lessons to learn from that.
My point is that I am aiming to be more me and wish more people would be more them too!
Honesty has become so much more important to me over the years. I’m not talking about everyone having to tell me their deepest darkest secrets, it’s more about not pretending to be someone else.
My personal definitition of disappointment is not having your expectations met. If you set realistic expectations in any relationship from the start, then both parties are less likely to be disappointed! If someone is your bff for 6 months then suddenly goes cold on you that is going to be confusing and hurtful, if an employer gives you no guidance then suddenly asks why you haven’t done something their way you could lose your confidence, if a partner acts like they’re utterly devoted to you then you find out… I don’t need to finish that sentence… you get it!
I just wish people were more open and honest about their intentions and stopped acting in a way which misleads people. This is a particular bug bear of mine based on personal experience.
We all have different versions of ourselves for different situations… the 3% extrovert in me comes out when I’m at networking events, the ‘gives no shits’ me comes out on the dance floor (I define “dance like no one is watching”!), the therapist appeaars when I’m one on one with a friend in trouble, the impatient, clumsy child throws a tantrum when I’m trying to unpack the shopping whilst I need a wee. Those people are all me in that moment and they all come together like a patchwork quilt to form my personality
Sometimes we try new things out, and that’s okay (like when I tried to pull off dungarees but it just didn’t work!). But I think that we know in our gut when we are being disingenuous, because it’s uncomfortable and doesn’t quite fit.
You know when you’re trying too hard and so do other people. It’s exhausting being someone you’re not, so give yourself a rest and embrace who you actually are! (Unless you’re an arsehole in which case you need to work out why and keep trying not to be!)
The hardest and most important person to be honest with is ourselves.
So this week’s lesson is to be more me, and I hope you will try being more you too. Because you’re pretty awesome, just as you are!
I’ll leave you with petulant me running out of ideas of how to model a hat!